Skip to content

Close Menu

  • Home
  • Starters
  • Main courses
  • Side orders
  • Desserts
  • Drinks
  • Buy the book
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Follow on Facebook
  • Follow on Instagram
We Want Plates

Nosebleed on a plank

  • Desserts
  • Wooden boards
 No Comments

Trifle or crime scene, you decide. Pic: @coffeenone

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Fiddly little starters on skulls

  • Starters
  • Worst of We Want Plates
 No Comments
fiddly little starters on skulls

Good luck putting those in the dishwasher. Pic: @SamF2904

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Michelin-starred floor sweepings

  • Food on rocks
  • Starters
 No Comments

CHEFS! Transform your floor sweepings into Michelin-starred floor sweepings by…Read More

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Smoking!

  • Desserts
 No Comments
coal shoe

[waiter emerges from kitchen amid a cloud of smoke, flames…Read More

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

VW camper van with surfboard tapas

  • Side orders
  • Worst of We Want Plates
 No Comments
vw bus

“Our chef is trying something new with the tapas tonight.”…Read More

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Barbie Meat Dress

  • Starters
  • Worst of We Want Plates
 No Comments
lady gaga meat dress

“Your beef, Sir.” “Erm… is this a traditional serving method…Read More

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Weird sausage hanger

  • Main courses
  • Wooden boards
 No Comments
weird sausage hanger

Scratched chopping board ✅ Inexplicable Mess Tin ✅ Manky enamel…Read More

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Train driver’s breakfast on a shovel

  • Main courses
  • Worst of We Want Plates
 No Comments

“Ahhh, but this one is OK because steam train drivers…Read More

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Give peas a chance

  • Side orders
 No Comments
peas

Peas in colanders. Peas in plantpots. Peas in sea shells.…Read More

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

The bottom of the barrel

  • Main courses
  • Wooden boards
 No Comments
bottom of the barrel

Food service can’t get any worse when you’re LITERALLY scraping…Read More

Share this pic:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Posts navigation

Older posts

The lowdown

 

We Want Plates is the global crusade against serving food on bits of wood and roof slates, chips in mugs and drinks in jam jars. It has over 700,000 followers across Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Reddit.

For media enquiries please mail We Want Plates creator and curator Ross McGinnes.

Buy the book

We Want Plates - The Book

Media coverage

The One Show, BBC Radio 5 Live, BBC World Service, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Times, The Independent, London Evening Standard, Metro, Stylist, Good Housekeeping, Buzzfeed, Mashable, The Poke, Huffington Post, Vice, YouGov.

Latest kitchen crimes

  • Amuse-bouche on a cactus
  • Woodcock brain on a rock
  • Oh how very generous
  • It’s a pandemic!
  • Beep Beep Beep Beep
  • Barbie Meat Dress
  • Hipster Vegemite on toast
  • Smoking!
  • ‘TWANG!’
  • Next stop, landfill
  • “Bring out the gimp”
  • The definition of viscosity
  • Behold the Lego breadbasket
  • The Hipster Holy Trinity
  • The definition of rubbish chips
  • So near, yet so far
  • Pickles inside a Russian doll
  • All the waiters are off with bad backs
  • Soup served in a stiletto
  • Meat on a clipboard
  • You could eat your dinner off that floor
  • We Want Plates – The Book
  • Bread in a commode
  • We’re in the wrong job
  • ‘Smashed Martini’ nonsense
  • RSI from an RSJ
  • DIY salad
  • Boiled egg plumbing new depths
  • Obligatory mini desk lamp
  • If only someone would invent a thing…
  • I got 99 problems
  • Shopping trolley crisps
  • How To Get Your Meal On A Plate
  • Newton’s cradle dessert
  • Salvaged skirting board
  • “What can I get you, Mr Bond?”
  • “Don’t touch the can, it’s hot.”
  • Coffee could become really popular…
  • Beer-can gravy Hipstergeddon
  • Goldfish in a liquidiser
  • Lamb on a rock
  • No you can’t keep the trolley
  • Train driver’s breakfast on a shovel
  • “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA”
  • The forces of evil are gathering
  • Michelin-starred floor sweepings
  • Tiny plate extension
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • “Any old iron? Any old iron?”
  • Hello, what’s your emergency?
  • Dog bowls are for dogs. Period.
  • Second prize is two James Martin kits
  • Sausage in a wine glass
  • We beg to differ
  • Happy Valentine’s Day…
  • The chutney cupboard
  • Dog-bowl dessert
  • Dessert in an ashtray
  • Plumbing new depths
  • The perils of chefs drinking on the job
  • Dessert on a sanitary towel
  • Cheesecake, apparently
  • Ice cream breaks for the border
  • Would someone think of the trees?
  • Scotch egg in a trophy
  • Small victories are better than none
  • Jam jar of coffee on a book
  • “Chippy on the way home?”
  • When fruit in a bowl just won’t do
  • Life Of Pi, of course
  • Macaroni cauldron, ketchup syringe
  • Duvet think we’re idiots?
  • Leaving a bad taste in the mouth
  • Perspex paddles and slate
  • Chip-dam to the rescue
  • Brexit has merits after all
  • Nonsense on a box of grass
  • The one-eyed taco Chihuahua
  • Howzat? Bloody awful!
  • Salad on a slab of marble
  • Dessert in a little bath
  • Oh Vienna! Soup in a tin can
  • The bottom of the barrel
  • The march of the chiptanks
  • Candyfloss on a horse’s head
  • Please stop abusing skateboards
  • Coach bolt and camping mug
  • Germ-riddled crevices, yum yum
  • Fish and chips on a Ferris wheel
  • More cream-on-slate madness
  • Cartoonist Emily Flake nails it
  • When one tray just won’t do
  • The Curious Case Of The Phantom Jelly Moulds
  • Hot chocolate infantilisation
  • Is there a DIY discount?
  • Pub bans man after chip bucket row
  • Avocado syringe
  • Now they’re deconstructing coffee
  • Watery mozzarella woe at Zizzi
  • Things could get messy…
  • TGI Fridays don’t know what plates are
  • Ridiculous fish ‘n’ chips
  • British Sandwich Week idiocy
  • Give this Wellington the boot
  • Watership Down prawn nightmare
  • We call this ‘Lazy Bastard Sardines’
  • VW camper van with surfboard tapas
  • Risotto in a mug
  • We need to elevate our food
  • Vegetable tempura in a shoe
  • Sausage tree klaxon
  • It wasn’t even cooked in that, you idiots
  • Breakfast in a surgical tray
  • Health and safety nightmare
  • TGI Fridays, you lazy swines
  • Half a pint of corn on the cob
  • Fish on a stick in a rock on a mirror
  • Coleslaw in a shopping trolley
  • A plea on National Toast Day
  • Wasabi spongecake on a tree
  • Barcelona, you disappoint us
  • Chicken fingers in a skull
  • Shepherd’s Pie in a glass
  • More deconstructed guff on a slate
  • A table for tree
  • The perils of a leaking crack
  • They must be yolking
  • Unnecessary bird’s nest contraption
  • Now they’re giving you weapons
  • Plumbing new depths
  • See what they did there?
  • When one can just won’t do
  • Tapas in a teacup
  • Happy International Tea Day
  • Jenga chips on a slate coaster
  • Cheese on half a skateboard
  • What to buy a lunatic for Xmas
  • Happy Thanksgiving, American types
  • Huge chips or tiny table?
  • Shot glass traffic light spring rolls
  • What’s the collective noun for chips in mugs?
  • Please stop piping messages on boards
  • People are still putting food in shoes
  • Oliver Twist porridge debacle
  • Prawn cracker basket optical illusion
  • We’ve come so far in 350 years
  • Yes, that is an actual desk organiser
  • Chips in a pint glass
  • Of course it does
  • Beware of ghost cutlery on Halloween!
  • The real reason dessert is in a boot
  • Starter in half a tree
  • Soup in a pan saves on washing up
  • Well-washed fish dish
  • When is a plate not a plate?
  • Bathroom tile sausage rolls
  • Tonka truck twattery
  • An affront to condiments
  • A plank of Bloody Mary meatballs
  • Heart-shaped bum-paddle
  • Half a pint of black pudding
  • Dinner with The Flintstones
  • Prosecco in a welly
  • Sticky table inevitability
  • Chips in a tree
  • Greeks rue plate-smashing
  • “White, one sugar, no salad”
  • Remember the wheelie bin code
  • Steak in a bird bath
  • Throw it in a tiny canal
  • Car boot sale soup contraption
  • That’s not a pie, Harvey Nichols
  • Peppercorn sauce catastrophe
  • Squid in a clog
  • Dinner on a fishtank
  • Sausages in a skull
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • Give peas a chance
  • Soup in a coffee percolator
  • Bread-shoe contraption
  • Mozzarella bap disaster
  • Nosebleed on a plank
  • International Bacon Day
  • A sheep died for this
  • Beans ‘on’ toast
  • aka ‘Fish On A Plank’
  • The Botanist has a hissy fit
  • Happy National Burger Day
  • Hipster emojis
  • Camembert catastrophe
  • Barking mad
  • Yorkshire salad on a slate
  • Greg Wallace’s garden trowel
  • Fish on a tree stump
  • Upside-down umbrella
  • Artist’s palette wrap
  • DIY burger
  • Are we being trolled?
  • The cheese cupboard
  • Pieces of hairy pig in a pan
  • Picnic table pandemic
  • Cappy Yorkshire Day!
  • Dirty protest
  • A dog’s dinner
  • Bread in a handbag
  • Five for the price of one
  • Rat trap and toaster
  • National Ice Cream Day
  • A Greek tragedy
  • Bloody London
  • A load of pretentious scollops 
  • No idea what’s happening here
  • Call a proctologist!
  • Sundae Bloody Sundae
  • Double fault
  • Spaghetti Bollocksnese
  • Bread on a steamer
  • Cake in a frying pan
  • Surf and, quite literally, turf
  • Mini shopping basket disaster
  • Raspberries on a rock
  • Goldfish under a prawn cocktail
  • Mac and cheese mugs
  • Silly sausage
  • Mushy peas in a latte glass
  • You call this dignity in death?
  • Crumble in cup = custard woe
  • Starters on glass blocks
  • BBQ WTF?
  • Fiddly little starters on skulls
  • Half a pint of sausages
  • Not emptied the dishwasher?
  • Salsa donkey and nachos cart
  • Cheesecake vs raspberries
  • Gin in a Converse shoe
  • National Fish And Chip Day
  • Fish hooks in your dinner
  • Nightmares on wax
  • Skateboard cheeseboard
  • Cake drawer buffoonery
  • Pudding in a pan irritation
  • Ham on a mirror
  • Soy sauce shopping trolley
  • Beef on barbed wire lunacy
  • Sticky toffee pudding woe
  • Mason jar misery montage
  • Orange juice laziness
  • You CAN have too many chips
  • “Go home Chef, you’re drunk.”
  • Tiny Tabasco bottle on a slate
askymoreblue.com