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We Want Plates

Newton’s cradle dessert

  • Desserts
  • Slates
  • Worst of We Want Plates
 wewantplates 29/08/2017
newtons cradle dessert

Marshmallow: 12p. Fruit: 15p. Newton’s cradle with weird kebab things: […]

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Salvaged skirting board

  • Desserts
 wewantplates 23/08/2017
skirting board

“Is the ice cream locally produced?” “No, but the jam […]

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“What can I get you, Mr Bond?”

  • Food in mugs
  • Starters
 wewantplates 20/08/2017
martini

“What can I get you, Mr Bond?” “Martini. Shaken, not […]

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“Don’t touch the can, it’s hot.”

  • Tin cans
 wewantplates 11/08/2017
chowder

Chowder, served with the warning: “Don’t touch the can, it’s […]

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Coffee could become really popular…

  • Drinks
 wewantplates 03/08/2017
covfefe

…if someone would just invent some sort of vessel for […]

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Beer-can gravy Hipstergeddon

  • Main courses
  • Tin cans
  • Wooden boards
 wewantplates 24/07/2017
gravy in a beer can

“Excuse me waiter, I didn’t order a beer.” “That’s gravy, […]

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Goldfish in a liquidiser

  • Starters
  • Worst of We Want Plates
 wewantplates 18/07/2017
goldfish in a liquidiser

“Here’s your prawn lollipop. Feel free to feed the fish […]

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Lamb on a rock

  • Food on rocks
  • Starters
 wewantplates 07/07/2017
lamb on a rock

“How would you like your lamb?” “On a rock with […]

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No you can’t keep the trolley

  • Drinks
 wewantplates 25/06/2017
pink goo

NEW COCKTAIL: Overpriced Bag Of Pink Goop In A Shopping Trolley. […]

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Train driver’s breakfast on a shovel

  • Main courses
  • Worst of We Want Plates
 wewantplates 25/06/2017

“Ahhh, but this one is OK because steam train drivers […]

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The lowdown

We Want Plates is the global crusade against serving food on bits of wood and roof slates, chips in mugs and drinks in jam jars. It has over 200,000 followers across Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. You can submit pics there, or mail chief plate-spinner Ross McGinnes. Site built by A Sky More Blue.

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Media coverage

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Latest kitchen crimes

  • Newton’s cradle dessert
  • Salvaged skirting board
  • “What can I get you, Mr Bond?”
  • “Don’t touch the can, it’s hot.”
  • Coffee could become really popular…
  • Beer-can gravy Hipstergeddon
  • Goldfish in a liquidiser
  • Lamb on a rock
  • No you can’t keep the trolley
  • Train driver’s breakfast on a shovel
  • “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA”
  • The forces of evil are gathering
  • Michelin-starred floor sweepings
  • Tiny plate extension
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • “Any old iron? Any old iron?”
  • Hello, what’s your emergency?
  • Dog bowls are for dogs. Period.
  • Second prize is two James Martin kits
  • Boiled egg plumbing new depths
  • Sausage in a wine glass
  • We beg to differ
  • Happy Valentine’s Day…
  • The chutney cupboard
  • Dog-bowl dessert
  • Dessert in an ashtray
  • Plumbing new depths
  • The perils of chefs drinking on the job
  • Dessert on a sanitary towel
  • Cheesecake, apparently
  • Ice cream breaks for the border
  • Would someone think of the trees?
  • Scotch egg in a trophy
  • Small victories are better than none
  • Jam jar of coffee on a book
  • “Chippy on the way home?”
  • When fruit in a bowl just won’t do
  • Life Of Pi, of course
  • Macaroni cauldron, ketchup syringe
  • So near, yet so far
  • Duvet think we’re idiots?
  • Leaving a bad taste in the mouth
  • Perspex paddles and slate
  • Chip-dam to the rescue
  • Brexit has merits after all
  • Nonsense on a box of grass
  • The one-eyed taco Chihuahua
  • Howzat? Bloody awful!
  • Salad on a slab of marble
  • Dessert in a little bath
  • Oh Vienna! Soup in a tin can
  • The bottom of the barrel
  • You could eat your dinner off that floor
  • The definition of rubbish chips
  • The march of the chiptanks
  • Candyfloss on a horse’s head
  • Please stop abusing skateboards
  • Coach bolt and camping mug
  • Germ-riddled crevices, yum yum
  • Fish and chips on a Ferris wheel
  • More cream-on-slate madness
  • The Hipster Holy Trinity
  • Cartoonist Emily Flake nails it
  • When one tray just won’t do
  • The Curious Case Of The Phantom Jelly Moulds
  • Behold the Lego breadbasket
  • Hot chocolate infantilisation
  • Is there a DIY discount?
  • Pub bans man after chip bucket row
  • Avocado syringe
  • Now they’re deconstructing coffee
  • Watery mozzarella woe at Zizzi
  • Things could get messy…
  • TGI Fridays don’t know what plates are
  • Ridiculous fish ‘n’ chips
  • British Sandwich Week idiocy
  • Give this Wellington the boot
  • Watership Down prawn nightmare
  • We call this ‘Lazy Bastard Sardines’
  • VW camper van with surfboard tapas
  • Risotto in a mug
  • We need to elevate our food
  • Vegetable tempura in a shoe
  • Sausage tree klaxon
  • It wasn’t even cooked in that, you idiots
  • Breakfast in a surgical tray
  • Health and safety nightmare
  • TGI Fridays, you lazy swines
  • Half a pint of corn on the cob
  • Fish on a stick in a rock on a mirror
  • All the waiters are off with bad backs
  • Coleslaw in a shopping trolley
  • A plea on National Toast Day
  • Wasabi spongecake on a tree
  • Barcelona, you disappoint us
  • Chicken fingers in a skull
  • Obligatory mini desk lamp
  • Soup served in a stiletto
  • Shepherd’s Pie in a glass
  • If only someone would invent a thing…
  • More deconstructed guff on a slate
  • A table for tree
  • Pickles inside a Russian doll
  • The perils of a leaking crack
  • They must be yolking
  • Unnecessary bird’s nest contraption
  • Now they’re giving you weapons
  • Plumbing new depths
  • See what they did there?
  • When one can just won’t do
  • Tapas in a teacup
  • Happy International Tea Day
  • Jenga chips on a slate coaster
  • Cheese on half a skateboard
  • What to buy a lunatic for Xmas
  • Happy Thanksgiving, American types
  • Huge chips or tiny table?
  • Shot glass traffic light spring rolls
  • What’s the collective noun for chips in mugs?
  • Please stop piping messages on boards
  • People are still putting food in shoes
  • Meat on a clipboard
  • Oliver Twist porridge debacle
  • Prawn cracker basket optical illusion
  • We’ve come so far in 350 years
  • Yes, that is an actual desk organiser
  • Chips in a pint glass
  • Of course it does
  • Beware of ghost cutlery on Halloween!
  • The real reason dessert is in a boot
  • We Want Plates sends plate sales soaring
  • Starter in half a tree
  • Soup in a pan saves on washing up
  • Well-washed fish dish
  • When is a plate not a plate?
  • Bathroom tile sausage rolls
  • Tonka truck twattery
  • An affront to condiments
  • A plank of Bloody Mary meatballs
  • Heart-shaped bum-paddle
  • Half a pint of black pudding
  • Dinner with The Flintstones
  • Prosecco in a welly
  • Sticky table inevitability
  • Chips in a tree
  • Greeks rue plate-smashing
  • “White, one sugar, no salad”
  • Remember the wheelie bin code
  • Steak in a bird bath
  • Throw it in a tiny canal
  • Car boot sale soup contraption
  • That’s not a pie, Harvey Nichols
  • Peppercorn sauce catastrophe
  • Squid in a clog
  • Dinner on a fishtank
  • Sausages in a skull
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • Give peas a chance
  • Soup in a coffee percolator
  • Bread-shoe contraption
  • Mozzarella bap disaster
  • Nosebleed on a plank
  • International Bacon Day
  • A sheep died for this
  • Beans ‘on’ toast
  • aka ‘Fish On A Plank’
  • The Botanist has a hissy fit
  • Happy National Burger Day
  • Hipster emojis
  • Camembert catastrophe
  • Barking mad
  • Yorkshire salad on a slate
  • Greg Wallace’s garden trowel
  • Fish on a tree stump
  • Upside-down umbrella
  • Artist’s palette wrap
  • DIY burger
  • Are we being trolled?
  • The cheese cupboard
  • Pieces of hairy pig in a pan
  • Picnic table pandemic
  • Cappy Yorkshire Day!
  • Dirty protest
  • A dog’s dinner
  • Bread in a handbag
  • Five for the price of one
  • Rat trap and toaster
  • National Ice Cream Day
  • A Greek tragedy
  • Bloody London
  • A load of pretentious scollops 
  • No idea what’s happening here
  • Call a proctologist!
  • Sundae Bloody Sundae
  • Double fault
  • Spaghetti Bollocksnese
  • Bread on a steamer
  • Cake in a frying pan
  • Surf and, quite literally, turf
  • Mini shopping basket disaster
  • Raspberries on a rock
  • Goldfish under a prawn cocktail
  • Mac and cheese mugs
  • Silly sausage
  • Mushy peas in a latte glass
  • You call this dignity in death?
  • Crumble in cup = custard woe
  • Starters on glass blocks
  • BBQ WTF?
  • Fiddly little starters on skulls
  • Half a pint of sausages
  • Not emptied the dishwasher?
  • Salsa donkey and nachos cart
  • Cheesecake vs raspberries
  • Gin in a Converse shoe
  • National Fish And Chip Day
  • Fish hooks in your dinner
  • Nightmares on wax
  • Skateboard cheeseboard
  • Cake drawer buffoonery
  • Pudding in a pan irritation
  • Ham on a mirror
  • Soy sauce shopping trolley
  • Beef on barbed wire lunacy
  • Sticky toffee pudding woe
  • Mason jar misery montage
  • Orange juice laziness
  • You CAN have too many chips
  • “Go home Chef, you’re drunk.”
  • Tiny Tabasco bottle on a slate
  • Decorators’ special
  • They’re invading our homes
  • Egg and toast argument
  • A mug of doughnuts
  • Pasta in an axe
  • Fell off the back of a lorry
  • Chicken in a crate
  • Hors d’oeuvres on tin cans
  • Scotch egg with severed artery
  • Yes, that is dinner in a sink
  • Cocktail in a watering can
  • Hot wings with a toe tag
  • Dinner on an old hubcap
  • My wife made lunch. Hilarious.
  • Custard bottle conundrum
  • Picnic table idiocy
  • Weird sausage hanger
  • Breakfast in a tin can
  • Crimes against cheesecake
  • Is that a cat activity centre?
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