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I got 99 problems

Side orders

macandcheese

“Half a pint of mac and cheese, please.”

“You want to make it a parmesan 99?”

Pic: @Beill

Posted in Side orders

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Shopping trolley crisps

If only someone would invent a thing…

The lowdown

We Want Plates is the global crusade against serving food on bits of wood and roof slates, chips in mugs and drinks in jam jars. It has over one million followers across Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Reddit.

Created by Ross McGinnes.

Buy the book

Media coverage

The One Show, BBC Radio 5 Live, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Times, The Independent, London Evening Standard, Metro, Stylist, Good Housekeeping, Buzzfeed, Mashable, Huffington Post, Vice.

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Latest kitchen crimes

The definition of rubbish chips
RSI from an RSJ
Beer-can gravy Hipstergeddon
Behold the Lego breadbasket
Soup served in a stiletto
Meat on a clipboard
Goldfish in a liquidiser
The Hipster Holy Trinity
All the waiters are off with bad backs
Amuse-bouche on a cactus
Woodcock brain on a rock
Oh how very generous
It’s a pandemic!
Beep Beep Beep Beep
Barbie Meat Dress
Hipster Vegemite on toast
Smoking!
‘TWANG!’
Next stop, landfill
“Bring out the gimp”
The definition of viscosity
So near, yet so far
Pickles inside a Russian doll
You could eat your dinner off that floor
We Want Plates – The Book
Bread in a commode
We’re in the wrong job
‘Smashed Martini’ nonsense
DIY salad
Boiled egg plumbing new depths
Obligatory mini desk lamp
If only someone would invent a thing…
I got 99 problems
Shopping trolley crisps
How To Get Your Meal On A Plate
Newton’s cradle dessert
Salvaged skirting board
“What can I get you, Mr Bond?”
“Don’t touch the can, it’s hot.”
Coffee could become really popular…
Lamb on a rock
No you can’t keep the trolley
Train driver’s breakfast on a shovel
“HA HA HA HA HA HA HA”
The forces of evil are gathering
Michelin-starred floor sweepings
Tiny plate extension
Toast in a tin bath
“Any old iron? Any old iron?”
Hello, what’s your emergency?
Dog bowls are for dogs. Period.
Second prize is two James Martin kits
Sausage in a wine glass
We beg to differ
Happy Valentine’s Day…
The chutney cupboard
Dog-bowl dessert
Dessert in an ashtray
Plumbing new depths
The perils of chefs drinking on the job
Dessert on a sanitary towel
Cheesecake, apparently
Ice cream breaks for the border
Would someone think of the trees?
Scotch egg in a trophy
Small victories are better than none
Jam jar of coffee on a book
“Chippy on the way home?”
When fruit in a bowl just won’t do
Life Of Pi, of course
Macaroni cauldron, ketchup syringe
Duvet think we’re idiots?
Leaving a bad taste in the mouth
Perspex paddles and slate
Chip-dam to the rescue
Brexit has merits after all
Nonsense on a box of grass
The one-eyed taco Chihuahua
Howzat? Bloody awful!
Salad on a slab of marble
Dessert in a little bath
Oh Vienna! Soup in a tin can
The bottom of the barrel
The march of the chiptanks
Candyfloss on a horse’s head
Please stop abusing skateboards
Coach bolt and camping mug
Germ-riddled crevices, yum yum
Fish and chips on a Ferris wheel
More cream-on-slate madness
Cartoonist Emily Flake nails it
When one tray just won’t do
The Curious Case Of The Phantom Jelly Moulds
Hot chocolate infantilisation
Is there a DIY discount?
Pub bans man after chip bucket row
Avocado syringe
Now they’re deconstructing coffee
Watery mozzarella woe at Zizzi
Things could get messy…
TGI Fridays don’t know what plates are
Ridiculous fish ‘n’ chips
British Sandwich Week idiocy
Give this Wellington the boot
Watership Down prawn nightmare
We call this ‘Lazy Bastard Sardines’
VW camper van with surfboard tapas
Risotto in a mug
We need to elevate our food
Vegetable tempura in a shoe
Sausage tree klaxon
It wasn’t even cooked in that, you idiots
Breakfast in a surgical tray
Health and safety nightmare
TGI Fridays, you lazy swines
Half a pint of corn on the cob
Fish on a stick in a rock on a mirror
Wheelie bin sauce
Coleslaw in a shopping trolley
A plea on National Toast Day
Wasabi spongecake on a tree
Barcelona, you disappoint us
Chicken fingers in a skull
Shepherd’s Pie in a glass
More deconstructed guff on a slate
A table for tree
The perils of a leaking crack
They must be yolking
Unnecessary bird’s nest contraption
Now they’re giving you weapons
Plumbing new depths
See what they did there?
When one can just won’t do
Tapas in a teacup
Happy International Tea Day
Jenga chips on a slate coaster
Cheese on half a skateboard
What to buy a lunatic for Xmas
Happy Thanksgiving, American types
Huge chips or tiny table?
Shot glass traffic light spring rolls
What’s the collective noun for chips in mugs?
Please stop piping messages on boards
People are still putting food in shoes
Oliver Twist porridge debacle
Prawn cracker basket optical illusion
We’ve come so far in 350 years
Yes, that is an actual desk organiser
Chips in a pint glass
Of course it does
Beware of ghost cutlery on Halloween!
The real reason dessert is in a boot
Starter in half a tree
Soup in a pan saves on washing up
Well-washed fish dish
When is a plate not a plate?
Bathroom tile sausage rolls
Tonka truck twattery
An affront to condiments
A plank of Bloody Mary meatballs
Heart-shaped bum-paddle
Half a pint of black pudding
Dinner with The Flintstones
Prosecco in a welly
Sticky table inevitability
Chips in a tree
Greeks rue plate-smashing
“White, one sugar, no salad”
Remember the wheelie bin code
Steak in a bird bath
Throw it in a tiny canal
Car boot sale soup contraption
That’s not a pie, Harvey Nichols
Peppercorn sauce catastrophe
Squid in a clog
Dinner on a fishtank
Sausages in a skull
Toast in a tin bath
Give peas a chance
Soup in a coffee percolator
Bread-shoe contraption
Mozzarella bap disaster
Nosebleed on a plank
International Bacon Day
A sheep died for this
Beans ‘on’ toast
aka ‘Fish On A Plank’
The Botanist has a hissy fit
Happy National Burger Day
Hipster emojis
Camembert catastrophe
Barking mad
Yorkshire salad on a slate
Greg Wallace’s garden trowel
Fish on a tree stump
Upside-down umbrella
Artist’s palette wrap
DIY burger
Are we being trolled?
The cheese cupboard

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