Amuse-bouche on a cactus

Amuse-bouche on a cactus

“Your amuse-bouche. Sign here.”

“Is that a real cactus that’s it’s served on?”

“It is a real cactus. Sign here.”

“On a real cactus.”

“Sign the disclaimer form, sir.”

Pic: Tom Staroscinski

Beep Beep Beep Beep

Mini shopping trolley

“I’ll have the asparagus tempura, please.”





“What’s that noise?”





“Oh, that’s the mini forklift truck preparing your mini pallet and mini shopping trolley.”







Pic: @ClemMurphy

Barbie Meat Dress

lady gaga meat dress

“Your beef, Sir.”

“Erm… is this a traditional serving method particular to the region?”

“No. Our chef just really likes Lady Gaga.”

Pic: Ged Richter

Hipster Vegemite on toast

Vegemite on toast

What you order: gourmet Vegemite on toast.

What you get: a chopping board, cold toast, a leaf stuck on some butter and a reminder to take your dog to the vet.

Pic: Huon Oliver

Next stop, landfill

prawn lollipops

“Our environmentally-friendly tempura is made with sustainable seafood and vegetables, harvested in ways that consider the long-term well-being of our precious land and oceans.”

“Wonderful! How’s it served?”

“On a large polystyrene block.”

Pic: @HynesLin

Boiled egg plumbing new depths


“Would you like your egg boiled, poached or scrambled?”

“Boiled and balanced on a 15mm isolating ball valve, please.”


Michelin-starred floor sweepings

CHEFS! Transform your floor sweepings into Michelin-starred floor sweepings by serving them on a rock for twenty quid.


“Any old iron? Any old iron?”



Cotton: iron on high heat

Silk: iron on medium heat

Nylon: iron on low heat

Prawns: iron on manky board


Sausage in a wine glass

sausage in a glass

“What wine do you recommend?”

“The 2004 Argentinian Chardonnay is bursting with flavour.”

“What flavour?”



Fish on a stick in a rock on a mirror

fish stick

“Today’s specials include fish on a stick in a rock on a mirror.”




Yes, that is an actual desk organiser


A well-organised kitchen is one thing, but this is ridiculous.

Taken at Stoke Mill, Norwich.


Soup in a pan saves on washing up


Chefs: in future just bring us camping stoves, knock a few quid off and we’ll heat it up ourselves. Deal?


A plank of Bloody Mary meatballs

bloody mary meatballs

Do you like meatballs? Do you like Bloody Marys? The Old George in Bethnal Green serves both. At the same time. On a plank.

Pic: @butters_one

Camembert catastrophe


Nuts were deployed as an emergency cheese dam during this slate-based baked Camembert catastrophe at 47 Mussel Row in Littlehampton.

Pic: @nick_thompson

Goldfish under a prawn cocktail

goldfish under prawn cocktail

File under WTF.

We regularly get tweeted pics of prawn cocktails in glasses. Most people think this is fine. This one, however, is not…

Pic: @millyandpip

Starters on glass blocks

starters on glass blocks

Builder: “We’ve finished refurbishing the restaurant’s toilets for you.”

Owner: “Marvellous. By the way, those glass blocks in the skip – can you take them out? I think we can use them…”

Pic: @deanmorriscards

Apple sauce in a wheelbarrow

apple sauce in a wheelbarrow

The perfect snack for when you fancy pork scratchings covered in chilli, on a plank, with a mini wheelbarrow of apple sauce.


Pic: @FreakyZoid

Starter on a brick

starter on a brick

“Here’s your starter on a house brick, Sir.”

*scrapes starter off brick, launches brick into kitchen*

Pic: @matthewcorbett

Some goop on a tile

goop on a tile

We don’t have a clue what this offering from Madrid is. Best of luck to the guy in trying to keep it all on there during the eating process, though.

Pic: @pascualdrake