“Your amuse-bouche. Sign here.”
“Is that a real cactus that’s it’s served on?”
“It is a real cactus. Sign here.”
“On a real cactus.”
“Sign the disclaimer form, sir.”
Pic: Tom Staroscinski
Amuse-bouche on a cactus
Woodcock brain on a rock
If they removed the lump of stone, that brain would be PERFECT.
Pic: Paul Beale
Oh how very generous
“All burgers are served on wooden boards so please request a plate if you would prefer one.”
If all burgers were served on plates, how many people would request a wooden board?
WE’LL GIVE YOU A CLUE: NONE.
Pic: @JerryDLeigh
It’s a pandemic!
They’re even at it on MasterChef in Chile.
Beep Beep Beep Beep
“I’ll have the asparagus tempura, please.”
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
“What’s that noise?”
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
“Oh, that’s the mini forklift truck preparing your mini pallet and mini shopping trolley.”
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
Pic: @ClemMurphy
Barbie Meat Dress
“Your beef, Sir.”
“Erm… is this a traditional serving method particular to the region?”
“No. Our chef just really likes Lady Gaga.”
Pic: Ged Richter
Hipster Vegemite on toast
What you order: gourmet Vegemite on toast.
What you get: a chopping board, cold toast, a leaf stuck on some butter and a reminder to take your dog to the vet.
Pic: Huon Oliver
Smoking!
[waiter emerges from kitchen amid a cloud of smoke, flames licking his heels, tips of his waxed moustache on fire]
“Your dessert, sir.”
Pic: @ThomasI82
‘TWANG!’
“Your tuna starter, sir.”
[lunges at cube, catapults tuna into coat rack, impales eye on spike]
Pic: Miley Dahmer
Next stop, landfill
“Our environmentally-friendly tempura is made with sustainable seafood and vegetables, harvested in ways that consider the long-term well-being of our precious land and oceans.”
“Wonderful! How’s it served?”
“On a large polystyrene block.”
Pic: @HynesLin