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We Want Plates

Boiled egg plumbing new depths

  • Starters
  • Worst of We Want Plates
Eggvalve

“Would you like your egg boiled, poached or scrambled?”

“Boiled and balanced on a 15mm isolating ball valve, please.”

Pic: @lucyfishwife

Posted in Starters, Worst of We Want Plates

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Obligatory mini desk lamp
DIY salad

The lowdown

 

We Want Plates is the global crusade against serving food on bits of wood and roof slates, chips in mugs and drinks in jam jars. It has over one million followers across Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Reddit.

Created by Ross McGinnes.

Buy the book

We Want Plates - The Book

Media coverage

The One Show, BBC Radio 5 Live, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Times, The Independent, London Evening Standard, Metro, Stylist, Good Housekeeping, Buzzfeed, Mashable, Huffington Post, Vice.

Latest kitchen crimes

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  • Peppercorn sauce catastrophe
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  • Sausages in a skull
  • Toast in a tin bath
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Latest kitchen crimes

  • The definition of rubbish chips
  • RSI from an RSJ
  • Beer-can gravy Hipstergeddon
  • Behold the Lego breadbasket
  • Soup served in a stiletto
  • Meat on a clipboard
  • Goldfish in a liquidiser
  • The Hipster Holy Trinity
  • All the waiters are off with bad backs
  • Amuse-bouche on a cactus
  • Woodcock brain on a rock
  • Oh how very generous
  • It’s a pandemic!
  • Beep Beep Beep Beep
  • Barbie Meat Dress
  • Hipster Vegemite on toast
  • Smoking!
  • ‘TWANG!’
  • Next stop, landfill
  • “Bring out the gimp”
  • The definition of viscosity
  • So near, yet so far
  • Pickles inside a Russian doll
  • You could eat your dinner off that floor
  • We Want Plates – The Book
  • Bread in a commode
  • We’re in the wrong job
  • ‘Smashed Martini’ nonsense
  • DIY salad
  • Boiled egg plumbing new depths
  • Obligatory mini desk lamp
  • If only someone would invent a thing…
  • I got 99 problems
  • Shopping trolley crisps
  • How To Get Your Meal On A Plate
  • Newton’s cradle dessert
  • Salvaged skirting board
  • “What can I get you, Mr Bond?”
  • “Don’t touch the can, it’s hot.”
  • Coffee could become really popular…
  • Lamb on a rock
  • No you can’t keep the trolley
  • Train driver’s breakfast on a shovel
  • “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA”
  • The forces of evil are gathering
  • Michelin-starred floor sweepings
  • Tiny plate extension
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • “Any old iron? Any old iron?”
  • Hello, what’s your emergency?
  • Dog bowls are for dogs. Period.
  • Second prize is two James Martin kits
  • Sausage in a wine glass
  • We beg to differ
  • Happy Valentine’s Day…
  • The chutney cupboard
  • Dog-bowl dessert
  • Dessert in an ashtray
  • Plumbing new depths
  • The perils of chefs drinking on the job
  • Dessert on a sanitary towel
  • Cheesecake, apparently
  • Ice cream breaks for the border
  • Would someone think of the trees?
  • Scotch egg in a trophy
  • Small victories are better than none
  • Jam jar of coffee on a book
  • “Chippy on the way home?”
  • When fruit in a bowl just won’t do
  • Life Of Pi, of course
  • Macaroni cauldron, ketchup syringe
  • Duvet think we’re idiots?
  • Leaving a bad taste in the mouth
  • Perspex paddles and slate
  • Chip-dam to the rescue
  • Brexit has merits after all
  • Nonsense on a box of grass
  • The one-eyed taco Chihuahua
  • Howzat? Bloody awful!
  • Salad on a slab of marble
  • Dessert in a little bath
  • Oh Vienna! Soup in a tin can
  • The bottom of the barrel
  • The march of the chiptanks
  • Candyfloss on a horse’s head
  • Please stop abusing skateboards
  • Coach bolt and camping mug
  • Germ-riddled crevices, yum yum
  • Fish and chips on a Ferris wheel
  • More cream-on-slate madness
  • Cartoonist Emily Flake nails it
  • When one tray just won’t do
  • The Curious Case Of The Phantom Jelly Moulds
  • Hot chocolate infantilisation
  • Is there a DIY discount?
  • Pub bans man after chip bucket row
  • Avocado syringe
  • Now they’re deconstructing coffee
  • Watery mozzarella woe at Zizzi
  • Things could get messy…
  • TGI Fridays don’t know what plates are
  • Ridiculous fish ‘n’ chips
  • British Sandwich Week idiocy
  • Give this Wellington the boot
  • Watership Down prawn nightmare
  • We call this ‘Lazy Bastard Sardines’
  • VW camper van with surfboard tapas
  • Risotto in a mug
  • We need to elevate our food
  • Vegetable tempura in a shoe
  • Sausage tree klaxon
  • It wasn’t even cooked in that, you idiots
  • Breakfast in a surgical tray
  • Health and safety nightmare
  • TGI Fridays, you lazy swines
  • Half a pint of corn on the cob
  • Fish on a stick in a rock on a mirror
  • Wheelie bin sauce
  • Coleslaw in a shopping trolley
  • A plea on National Toast Day
  • Wasabi spongecake on a tree
  • Barcelona, you disappoint us
  • Chicken fingers in a skull
  • Shepherd’s Pie in a glass
  • More deconstructed guff on a slate
  • A table for tree
  • The perils of a leaking crack
  • They must be yolking
  • Unnecessary bird’s nest contraption
  • Now they’re giving you weapons
  • Plumbing new depths
  • See what they did there?
  • When one can just won’t do
  • Tapas in a teacup
  • Happy International Tea Day
  • Jenga chips on a slate coaster
  • Cheese on half a skateboard
  • What to buy a lunatic for Xmas
  • Happy Thanksgiving, American types
  • Huge chips or tiny table?
  • Shot glass traffic light spring rolls
  • What’s the collective noun for chips in mugs?
  • Please stop piping messages on boards
  • People are still putting food in shoes
  • Oliver Twist porridge debacle
  • Prawn cracker basket optical illusion
  • We’ve come so far in 350 years
  • Yes, that is an actual desk organiser
  • Chips in a pint glass
  • Of course it does
  • Beware of ghost cutlery on Halloween!
  • The real reason dessert is in a boot
  • Starter in half a tree
  • Soup in a pan saves on washing up
  • Well-washed fish dish
  • When is a plate not a plate?
  • Bathroom tile sausage rolls
  • Tonka truck twattery
  • An affront to condiments
  • A plank of Bloody Mary meatballs
  • Heart-shaped bum-paddle
  • Half a pint of black pudding
  • Dinner with The Flintstones
  • Prosecco in a welly
  • Sticky table inevitability
  • Chips in a tree
  • Greeks rue plate-smashing
  • “White, one sugar, no salad”
  • Remember the wheelie bin code
  • Steak in a bird bath
  • Throw it in a tiny canal
  • Car boot sale soup contraption
  • That’s not a pie, Harvey Nichols
  • Peppercorn sauce catastrophe
  • Squid in a clog
  • Dinner on a fishtank
  • Sausages in a skull
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • Give peas a chance
  • Soup in a coffee percolator
  • Bread-shoe contraption
  • Mozzarella bap disaster
  • Nosebleed on a plank
  • International Bacon Day
  • A sheep died for this
  • Beans ‘on’ toast
  • aka ‘Fish On A Plank’
  • The Botanist has a hissy fit
  • Happy National Burger Day
  • Hipster emojis
  • Camembert catastrophe
  • Barking mad
  • Yorkshire salad on a slate
  • Greg Wallace’s garden trowel
  • Fish on a tree stump
  • Upside-down umbrella
  • Artist’s palette wrap
  • DIY burger
  • Are we being trolled?
  • The cheese cupboard
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