Throw it in a tiny canal

“Here are your chips, sir. Bring the trolley back and we’ll refund you a tiny £1 coin.”

Car boot sale soup contraption

Chefs: charge more for soup by bunging it through a coffee maker you got at a car boot sale.

Leftovers assembled on a bit of roof slate. Or as @HarveyNichols call it, lemon meringue pie.

Insubstantial slate guttering plus watery peppercorn sauce minus napkin dam equals catastrophe.

Pic: Chris Collins

A CLOG.

“Tonight’s special is the fish.”
“What sort of fish?”
“A gold one. And we’ll need it back.”
Pic: @DARRENR6

Chefs: transform a plank of sausages into a more expensive plank of sausages by simply putting them in a goth’s ashtray.

Even toast isn’t safe any more.
@philyourbootz

Peas in colanders. Peas in plantpots. Peas in sea shells. Peas in shot glasses. Peas in milk churns. Peas in teacups.

ALL WE ARE SAYING IS GIVE PEAS A CHANCE.

(Sorry).

Chefs: charge more for soup by bunging it through a coffee maker you got at a car boot sale.