TGI Fridays don’t know what plates are

This is not “Heaven on a plate.” It’s average fast-food on a slate and board with a fake fryer.

Yours,

Everyone.

Ridiculous fish ‘n’ chips

Chips in a shopping basket – CHECK.

Fish on rocks – CHECK.

Plastic seaweed – CHECK.

Fake fish-market crate – CHECK.

Mini table – CHECK.

Pic: D Ryan

During #BritishSandwichWeek be vigilant of chefs putting small portions in shabby chic boxes.

CHEFS! Make miniature beef Wellingtons more expensive by serving them on a guillotine.

“How are the BBQ prawns served?”

“On a tree with a ceramic rabbit.”

*blinks*

When the chef’s late for work and nobody’s emptied the dishwasher.

“Our chef is trying something new with the tapas tonight.”

*makes drinky-drink motion*

“Our special today is risotto in a mug.”

“Why is it special?”

“It’s in a mug.”

“We need to elevate our food.”

“Do you mean raise our game, Chef?”

“No. Literally make it higher with wooden things.”

“Chef, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have arrived, they’ve ordered the tempura shoe to share.”