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We Want Plates

Tiny Tabasco bottle on a slate

  • Main courses
  • Slates
tiny tabasco

They clearly don’t trust adults with normal-sized bottles of Tabasco sauce.

And we won’t even ask about the chilli bun.

Pic: @carlfhoward

Decorators’ special

  • Main courses
  • Tin cans
paint cans

We’ll gloss over this one – feeling a bit emulsional.

Pic: @DexNicholson

They’re invading our homes

  • Slates
  • Wooden boards
shops

Just some of your latest pics from Twitter of shops selling gastropub guff. Mason jars, mini shopping trolleys, bumpaddles, slates…

Egg and toast argument

  • Main courses
  • Wooden boards
egg and toast

Absolutely pitiful. And at least a fiver, we bet.

Pic: @withapickle

A mug of doughnuts

  • Desserts
  • Food in mugs
  • Wooden boards
doughnuts in a mug

*wags finger* Everyone knows mugs are for chips…

Pic: @Gr3ant

Pasta in an axe

  • Main courses
  • Wooden boards
  • Worst of We Want Plates
pasta in an axe

IT’S PASTA JOKE.

Pic: @kjmci

Fell off the back of a lorry

  • Main courses
  • Wooden boards
dinner on a pallet

Dinner on a pallet? Should have asked for a knife and forklift…

Pic: @vrantcliff

Chicken in a crate

  • Main courses
  • Wooden boards
chicken in a crate

Mayo in a watering can, piri piri in a medicine bottle, served in a herb tray. Drunk stencilling, too.

Pic: @TomBarratt

Hors d’oeuvres on tin cans

  • Starters
  • Tin cans
  • Wooden boards
hors doeuvres on tin cans

Spinach hors d’oeuvres served on tin cans. Crushed, like the diner’s spirit.

Pic: @Laura_Weir

Scotch egg with severed artery

  • Side orders
  • Wooden boards
scotch egg

Scotch egg with extract of severed artery, on a scratched board.

*wags finger at The Fox in Twickenham*

Pic: @supeep

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The lowdown

 

We Want Plates is the global crusade against serving food on bits of wood and roof slates, chips in mugs and drinks in jam jars. It has over one million followers across Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Reddit.

Created by Ross McGinnes.

Buy the book

We Want Plates - The Book

Media coverage

The One Show, BBC Radio 5 Live, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Times, The Independent, London Evening Standard, Metro, Stylist, Good Housekeeping, Buzzfeed, Mashable, Huffington Post, Vice.

Latest kitchen crimes

  • The definition of rubbish chips
  • RSI from an RSJ
  • Beer-can gravy Hipstergeddon
  • Behold the Lego breadbasket
  • Soup served in a stiletto
  • Meat on a clipboard
  • Goldfish in a liquidiser
  • The Hipster Holy Trinity
  • All the waiters are off with bad backs
  • Amuse-bouche on a cactus
  • Woodcock brain on a rock
  • Oh how very generous
  • It’s a pandemic!
  • Beep Beep Beep Beep
  • Barbie Meat Dress
  • Hipster Vegemite on toast
  • Smoking!
  • ‘TWANG!’
  • Next stop, landfill
  • “Bring out the gimp”
  • The definition of viscosity
  • So near, yet so far
  • Pickles inside a Russian doll
  • You could eat your dinner off that floor
  • We Want Plates – The Book
  • Bread in a commode
  • We’re in the wrong job
  • ‘Smashed Martini’ nonsense
  • DIY salad
  • Boiled egg plumbing new depths
  • Obligatory mini desk lamp
  • If only someone would invent a thing…
  • I got 99 problems
  • Shopping trolley crisps
  • How To Get Your Meal On A Plate
  • Newton’s cradle dessert
  • Salvaged skirting board
  • “What can I get you, Mr Bond?”
  • “Don’t touch the can, it’s hot.”
  • Coffee could become really popular…
  • Lamb on a rock
  • No you can’t keep the trolley
  • Train driver’s breakfast on a shovel
  • “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA”
  • The forces of evil are gathering
  • Michelin-starred floor sweepings
  • Tiny plate extension
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • “Any old iron? Any old iron?”
  • Hello, what’s your emergency?
  • Dog bowls are for dogs. Period.
  • Second prize is two James Martin kits
  • Sausage in a wine glass
  • We beg to differ
  • Happy Valentine’s Day…
  • The chutney cupboard
  • Dog-bowl dessert
  • Dessert in an ashtray
  • Plumbing new depths
  • The perils of chefs drinking on the job
  • Dessert on a sanitary towel
  • Cheesecake, apparently
  • Ice cream breaks for the border
  • Would someone think of the trees?
  • Scotch egg in a trophy
  • Small victories are better than none
  • Jam jar of coffee on a book
  • “Chippy on the way home?”
  • When fruit in a bowl just won’t do
  • Life Of Pi, of course
  • Macaroni cauldron, ketchup syringe
  • Duvet think we’re idiots?
  • Leaving a bad taste in the mouth
  • Perspex paddles and slate
  • Chip-dam to the rescue
  • Brexit has merits after all
  • Nonsense on a box of grass
  • The one-eyed taco Chihuahua
  • Howzat? Bloody awful!
  • Salad on a slab of marble
  • Dessert in a little bath
  • Oh Vienna! Soup in a tin can
  • The bottom of the barrel
  • The march of the chiptanks
  • Candyfloss on a horse’s head
  • Please stop abusing skateboards
  • Coach bolt and camping mug
  • Germ-riddled crevices, yum yum
  • Fish and chips on a Ferris wheel
  • More cream-on-slate madness
  • Cartoonist Emily Flake nails it
  • When one tray just won’t do
  • The Curious Case Of The Phantom Jelly Moulds
  • Hot chocolate infantilisation
  • Is there a DIY discount?
  • Pub bans man after chip bucket row
  • Avocado syringe
  • Now they’re deconstructing coffee
  • Watery mozzarella woe at Zizzi
  • Things could get messy…
  • TGI Fridays don’t know what plates are
  • Ridiculous fish ‘n’ chips
  • British Sandwich Week idiocy
  • Give this Wellington the boot
  • Watership Down prawn nightmare
  • We call this ‘Lazy Bastard Sardines’
  • VW camper van with surfboard tapas
  • Risotto in a mug
  • We need to elevate our food
  • Vegetable tempura in a shoe
  • Sausage tree klaxon
  • It wasn’t even cooked in that, you idiots
  • Breakfast in a surgical tray
  • Health and safety nightmare
  • TGI Fridays, you lazy swines
  • Half a pint of corn on the cob
  • Fish on a stick in a rock on a mirror
  • Wheelie bin sauce
  • Coleslaw in a shopping trolley
  • A plea on National Toast Day
  • Wasabi spongecake on a tree
  • Barcelona, you disappoint us
  • Chicken fingers in a skull
  • Shepherd’s Pie in a glass
  • More deconstructed guff on a slate
  • A table for tree
  • The perils of a leaking crack
  • They must be yolking
  • Unnecessary bird’s nest contraption
  • Now they’re giving you weapons
  • Plumbing new depths
  • See what they did there?
  • When one can just won’t do
  • Tapas in a teacup
  • Happy International Tea Day
  • Jenga chips on a slate coaster
  • Cheese on half a skateboard
  • What to buy a lunatic for Xmas
  • Happy Thanksgiving, American types
  • Huge chips or tiny table?
  • Shot glass traffic light spring rolls
  • What’s the collective noun for chips in mugs?
  • Please stop piping messages on boards
  • People are still putting food in shoes
  • Oliver Twist porridge debacle
  • Prawn cracker basket optical illusion
  • We’ve come so far in 350 years
  • Yes, that is an actual desk organiser
  • Chips in a pint glass
  • Of course it does
  • Beware of ghost cutlery on Halloween!
  • The real reason dessert is in a boot
  • Starter in half a tree
  • Soup in a pan saves on washing up
  • Well-washed fish dish
  • When is a plate not a plate?
  • Bathroom tile sausage rolls
  • Tonka truck twattery
  • An affront to condiments
  • A plank of Bloody Mary meatballs
  • Heart-shaped bum-paddle
  • Half a pint of black pudding
  • Dinner with The Flintstones
  • Prosecco in a welly
  • Sticky table inevitability
  • Chips in a tree
  • Greeks rue plate-smashing
  • “White, one sugar, no salad”
  • Remember the wheelie bin code
  • Steak in a bird bath
  • Throw it in a tiny canal
  • Car boot sale soup contraption
  • That’s not a pie, Harvey Nichols
  • Peppercorn sauce catastrophe
  • Squid in a clog
  • Dinner on a fishtank
  • Sausages in a skull
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • Give peas a chance
  • Soup in a coffee percolator
  • Bread-shoe contraption
  • Mozzarella bap disaster
  • Nosebleed on a plank
  • International Bacon Day
  • A sheep died for this
  • Beans ‘on’ toast
  • aka ‘Fish On A Plank’
  • The Botanist has a hissy fit
  • Happy National Burger Day
  • Hipster emojis
  • Camembert catastrophe
  • Barking mad
  • Yorkshire salad on a slate
  • Greg Wallace’s garden trowel
  • Fish on a tree stump
  • Upside-down umbrella
  • Artist’s palette wrap
  • DIY burger
  • Are we being trolled?
  • The cheese cupboard
  • Pieces of hairy pig in a pan
  • Picnic table pandemic
  • Cappy Yorkshire Day!
  • Dirty protest
  • A dog’s dinner
  • Bread in a handbag
  • Five for the price of one
  • Rat trap and toaster
  • National Ice Cream Day
  • A Greek tragedy
  • Bloody London
  • A load of pretentious scollops 
  • No idea what’s happening here
  • Call a proctologist!
  • Sundae Bloody Sundae
  • Double fault
  • Spaghetti Bollocksnese
  • Bread on a steamer
  • Cake in a frying pan
  • Surf and, quite literally, turf
  • Mini shopping basket disaster
  • Raspberries on a rock
  • Goldfish under a prawn cocktail
  • Mac and cheese mugs
  • Silly sausage
  • Mushy peas in a latte glass
  • You call this dignity in death?
  • Crumble in cup = custard woe
  • Starters on glass blocks
  • BBQ WTF?
  • Fiddly little starters on skulls
  • Half a pint of sausages
  • Not emptied the dishwasher?
  • Salsa donkey and nachos cart
  • Cheesecake vs raspberries
  • Gin in a Converse shoe
  • National Fish And Chip Day
  • Fish hooks in your dinner
  • Nightmares on wax
  • Skateboard cheeseboard
  • Cake drawer buffoonery
  • Pudding in a pan irritation
  • Ham on a mirror
  • Soy sauce shopping trolley
  • Beef on barbed wire lunacy
  • Sticky toffee pudding woe
  • Mason jar misery montage
  • Orange juice laziness
  • You CAN have too many chips
  • “Go home Chef, you’re drunk.”

Latest kitchen crimes

  • The definition of rubbish chips
  • RSI from an RSJ
  • Beer-can gravy Hipstergeddon
  • Behold the Lego breadbasket
  • Soup served in a stiletto
  • Meat on a clipboard
  • Goldfish in a liquidiser
  • The Hipster Holy Trinity
  • All the waiters are off with bad backs
  • Amuse-bouche on a cactus
  • Woodcock brain on a rock
  • Oh how very generous
  • It’s a pandemic!
  • Beep Beep Beep Beep
  • Barbie Meat Dress
  • Hipster Vegemite on toast
  • Smoking!
  • ‘TWANG!’
  • Next stop, landfill
  • “Bring out the gimp”
  • The definition of viscosity
  • So near, yet so far
  • Pickles inside a Russian doll
  • You could eat your dinner off that floor
  • We Want Plates – The Book
  • Bread in a commode
  • We’re in the wrong job
  • ‘Smashed Martini’ nonsense
  • DIY salad
  • Boiled egg plumbing new depths
  • Obligatory mini desk lamp
  • If only someone would invent a thing…
  • I got 99 problems
  • Shopping trolley crisps
  • How To Get Your Meal On A Plate
  • Newton’s cradle dessert
  • Salvaged skirting board
  • “What can I get you, Mr Bond?”
  • “Don’t touch the can, it’s hot.”
  • Coffee could become really popular…
  • Lamb on a rock
  • No you can’t keep the trolley
  • Train driver’s breakfast on a shovel
  • “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA”
  • The forces of evil are gathering
  • Michelin-starred floor sweepings
  • Tiny plate extension
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • “Any old iron? Any old iron?”
  • Hello, what’s your emergency?
  • Dog bowls are for dogs. Period.
  • Second prize is two James Martin kits
  • Sausage in a wine glass
  • We beg to differ
  • Happy Valentine’s Day…
  • The chutney cupboard
  • Dog-bowl dessert
  • Dessert in an ashtray
  • Plumbing new depths
  • The perils of chefs drinking on the job
  • Dessert on a sanitary towel
  • Cheesecake, apparently
  • Ice cream breaks for the border
  • Would someone think of the trees?
  • Scotch egg in a trophy
  • Small victories are better than none
  • Jam jar of coffee on a book
  • “Chippy on the way home?”
  • When fruit in a bowl just won’t do
  • Life Of Pi, of course
  • Macaroni cauldron, ketchup syringe
  • Duvet think we’re idiots?
  • Leaving a bad taste in the mouth
  • Perspex paddles and slate
  • Chip-dam to the rescue
  • Brexit has merits after all
  • Nonsense on a box of grass
  • The one-eyed taco Chihuahua
  • Howzat? Bloody awful!
  • Salad on a slab of marble
  • Dessert in a little bath
  • Oh Vienna! Soup in a tin can
  • The bottom of the barrel
  • The march of the chiptanks
  • Candyfloss on a horse’s head
  • Please stop abusing skateboards
  • Coach bolt and camping mug
  • Germ-riddled crevices, yum yum
  • Fish and chips on a Ferris wheel
  • More cream-on-slate madness
  • Cartoonist Emily Flake nails it
  • When one tray just won’t do
  • The Curious Case Of The Phantom Jelly Moulds
  • Hot chocolate infantilisation
  • Is there a DIY discount?
  • Pub bans man after chip bucket row
  • Avocado syringe
  • Now they’re deconstructing coffee
  • Watery mozzarella woe at Zizzi
  • Things could get messy…
  • TGI Fridays don’t know what plates are
  • Ridiculous fish ‘n’ chips
  • British Sandwich Week idiocy
  • Give this Wellington the boot
  • Watership Down prawn nightmare
  • We call this ‘Lazy Bastard Sardines’
  • VW camper van with surfboard tapas
  • Risotto in a mug
  • We need to elevate our food
  • Vegetable tempura in a shoe
  • Sausage tree klaxon
  • It wasn’t even cooked in that, you idiots
  • Breakfast in a surgical tray
  • Health and safety nightmare
  • TGI Fridays, you lazy swines
  • Half a pint of corn on the cob
  • Fish on a stick in a rock on a mirror
  • Wheelie bin sauce
  • Coleslaw in a shopping trolley
  • A plea on National Toast Day
  • Wasabi spongecake on a tree
  • Barcelona, you disappoint us
  • Chicken fingers in a skull
  • Shepherd’s Pie in a glass
  • More deconstructed guff on a slate
  • A table for tree
  • The perils of a leaking crack
  • They must be yolking
  • Unnecessary bird’s nest contraption
  • Now they’re giving you weapons
  • Plumbing new depths
  • See what they did there?
  • When one can just won’t do
  • Tapas in a teacup
  • Happy International Tea Day
  • Jenga chips on a slate coaster
  • Cheese on half a skateboard
  • What to buy a lunatic for Xmas
  • Happy Thanksgiving, American types
  • Huge chips or tiny table?
  • Shot glass traffic light spring rolls
  • What’s the collective noun for chips in mugs?
  • Please stop piping messages on boards
  • People are still putting food in shoes
  • Oliver Twist porridge debacle
  • Prawn cracker basket optical illusion
  • We’ve come so far in 350 years
  • Yes, that is an actual desk organiser
  • Chips in a pint glass
  • Of course it does
  • Beware of ghost cutlery on Halloween!
  • The real reason dessert is in a boot
  • Starter in half a tree
  • Soup in a pan saves on washing up
  • Well-washed fish dish
  • When is a plate not a plate?
  • Bathroom tile sausage rolls
  • Tonka truck twattery
  • An affront to condiments
  • A plank of Bloody Mary meatballs
  • Heart-shaped bum-paddle
  • Half a pint of black pudding
  • Dinner with The Flintstones
  • Prosecco in a welly
  • Sticky table inevitability
  • Chips in a tree
  • Greeks rue plate-smashing
  • “White, one sugar, no salad”
  • Remember the wheelie bin code
  • Steak in a bird bath
  • Throw it in a tiny canal
  • Car boot sale soup contraption
  • That’s not a pie, Harvey Nichols
  • Peppercorn sauce catastrophe
  • Squid in a clog
  • Dinner on a fishtank
  • Sausages in a skull
  • Toast in a tin bath
  • Give peas a chance
  • Soup in a coffee percolator
  • Bread-shoe contraption
  • Mozzarella bap disaster
  • Nosebleed on a plank
  • International Bacon Day
  • A sheep died for this
  • Beans ‘on’ toast
  • aka ‘Fish On A Plank’
  • The Botanist has a hissy fit
  • Happy National Burger Day
  • Hipster emojis
  • Camembert catastrophe
  • Barking mad
  • Yorkshire salad on a slate
  • Greg Wallace’s garden trowel
  • Fish on a tree stump
  • Upside-down umbrella
  • Artist’s palette wrap
  • DIY burger
  • Are we being trolled?
  • The cheese cupboard
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